So today was Samuel's birthday and not mine. And really, presents for a one week birthday are a bit excessive. But he gave me a really amazing gift today.
They had just changed his diaper and taken his temperature. They put a little blanket over his face to block out light while they did this but there was no need to change his meds or oxygen as they used to have to do when they handled him. He tolerates noise and touch much better than he did even a couple of days ago. Afterwards, I removed the little blanket and found his face scrunched up into a full wail. He can't make any noise while intubated but this was his cry. I reached in and put my hand on his head, stroked his forehead, and whispered mama comfort to him. And he opened his eyes for me.
He opened his eyes! His expression relaxed and he was totally calm and he just looked right into my face. We gazed at each other through the isolette for 10 beautiful minutes.
I also got to change his diaper, something I should have already done dozens of times by now but have only done once. My mom, his nurse, the respiratory technician and I all delighted at the fact that he peed on himself as soon as I took off his diaper. He has already gained a reputation for this in his young life. He peed all over the place moments after he was born while a Neonatal team were trying to intubate him and get him breathing! Then he peed out the side of his diaper the other night after his nurse had just changed his sheets. (Changing his bedding is a not-so-small task given the number of tubes and paraphernalia one must work around!) So he has some of his internal organs a bit mixed up. In every other way, Samuel appears to be a perfectly normal boy! :)
Even after all of the hub-bub of being turned, assessed, suctioned and changed, Samuel remained stable. So we got to leave the top up on his isolette and I got to really see and touch him. I even kissed his amazing little soft belly. Dr. Carlos told us today that they expect him to be ready for a conventional ventilator if he can keep this up for another 2 to 3 days. A conventional vent puts us another step closer to surgery. (And it means that I can hold him for the first time - YAY!) Once he has 3 days stable on a conventional ventilator, they will consider it safe to transport him to the Children's Hospital.
The surgery would be a few days after that, once he has stabilized in the Pediatric ICU there. I know that will be a very hard day. Even with all the gains that it seems Samuel is making, he is still a sick baby and we've not been upgraded from a 50% survival rate for the surgery itself. More incentive to not look too far forward; I would hate to miss the love and delight of Samuel's life today.
Happy one week birthday, my sweet baby.
and so it goes . . . Life does have delightful and joyous moments, like the sun setting . . . a wave gentling arriving onto the beach . . . the wind in the trees . . . the first gaze between a newborn and his mother . . . Uncle John
ReplyDeleteSo I think I have finally figured this out...after attempting to post several other times!
ReplyDeleteI am so overjoyed to hear about your "birthday" present! Samuel is a treasure, and he is so loved by all who know him. He has known love his entire life, and is showing it back to you through his gaze.
lots more love from the Norum gang. ♥
Corinne -- thanks for putting so much time into your posts on the blog. When my parents first told me about Samuel I had a lot of questions and you've done a fantastic job of filling out the details. The nice thing about a blog like this is when another family finds itself with similar news they'll discover this ad they search and your words will mean a lot to them.
ReplyDeleteWe're thinking of you.
Pat
Oh my the peeing Samuel!! LOL
ReplyDeleteThose moments of gazing into his eyes, stroking him, whispering your mama words, and kissing his belly are such true sparkling gem moments for him and for you, Corinne. And, because of this blog, for the rest of us too. Thank you for writing/sharing.
Samuel is truly touching my soul by your lovely use of words, you take me right into the moment. You are such a gifted writer.
You, my dear friend, are such an amazing, gentle, awe inspiring mom. You have so much love to give ... it just keeps coming out of you surrounding all of your boys with it. And, there is so much love others have to give you such as Samuel, your adorable bigger boys, hubby, and a huge circle of friends and family.
So much love. Thank you, Corinne. Thank you Samuel.
Sending my love,
Dawn