Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Happy 1 month birthday, Samuel!

At 3:20 p.m. today, Samuel turned a month old. Some of his favourite nurses - Laura, Kelly and Danielle - were all there at the time and we whispered our happy birthday wishes to him. I can't believe what has happened in a month. I keep thinking of that feeling I had when he was born, that primal longing to see and hold my baby coupled with the desperate grief of expecting that he would die. And now here he is.

My celebration of Samuel today included many sweet moments. I sat with him in the quiet and I rubbed lotion on his feet, then massaged his legs. He is much less swollen and his legs have that skinny newborn feel. Then his nurses and I bathed him using facecloths and a basin of warm water, washing the bits of him not covered in tape and probes and wires. There was incredible tenderness shared in our quiet voices and gentle touches. We changed his bedding, a production involving a nurse to manage his lines, a respiratory therapist to manage the breathing tubes, me to lift my sweet baby up and another nurse to pull one Nana blanket out and tuck in the newly-made Nana blanket I brought from home.

That moment of lifting him was the closest I have come to holding Samuel since our one and only cuddle when he was eleven days old. To bathe him, change his diaper, cut his tiny fingernails, rub lotion on his skin, were simple acts of mama nurturance that I have loved with my other babies. Being able to do that for Samuel felt amazing and connecting in ways I never could have appreciated before. My heart was full. I couldn`t stop smiling.

Samuel tolerated this all so well that Kelly agreed we could take it a step further. We took out the ink pad and cardstock that I brought and made prints of his little feet. I let myself think of him as one day being a teenager with big stinky feet who was trying to eat us out of house and home and I would remember this tiny-footed baby moment. We`d been tending to him together for over an hour by the time we were done. The sweetness of her doing all of that with me filled me with yet more gratitude.

Later that afternoon, Samuel opened his eyes for a while. He`s been having these longer periods of waking. His sedation keeps him peaceful but he is able to be alert at times too. Chris and Daniel arrived just in time for this round of gazing and cooing. Most exciting was watching the lines on the ventilator show us for the first time how Samuel was working to take his own breaths. The effort of this wore him out quickly and it was back to resting in quiet stillness and his sunglasses. But it was icing on the cake to see these little signs of Samuel getting stronger.

Happy birthday, amazing boy. Thank you for this beautiful day.

A visit from big brother Zachary.

A visit from big brother Daniel.

Peaceful gaze from our one month old Samuel.

12 comments:

  1. Happy one month birthday sweet Samuel!! What a milestone, and more importantly, what a lovely day.....
    Hugs,
    Traci

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  2. I got the biggest smile when I saw him with his eyes open...so sweet. He is so sweet. And you are so amazing!
    Carissa

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  3. Happy first month of life, little man!

    Hugs,
    Jana-Lynn

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  4. Happy Birthday, sweet baby boy. I wish your Mama gets to hold you v, v soon. Kia kaha. Mx

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  5. Happy wonderful 1st month birthday Samuel. It warms our hearts to know that you continue to move forward (even with ink on your feet from your mom). A special moment . . . a special day. Bless you! Michael and UJ

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  6. The "other" CorinneThursday, March 03, 2011

    I am smiling so big right now, little man! Happy month day!
    Keep up the good healing. You know who's in charge...
    xo

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  7. I'm a little late for the one month greetings. But just checking in with your blog today. What a courageous little guy! Never mind his parents, brothers etc. I'm still amazed at how the boys have grown since they were wee! Thanks for all the pictures. Chris, big and frequent thoughts for you.
    Kirsten

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  8. Dear Corinne and Chris, I think I finally figured out how to get on this blog! It was so wonderful to read of the many positive changes in Samuel's growth and development; lots of miracles! I was so moved to know you had the opportunity to be super-involved in his care on his birthday, Corinne. A great big Happy Birthday wish for Samuel! And hugs for you and all the boys..Love, Nancy

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  9. Yaaaa I have been away for a week and no computer access but thinking about your sweet wee boy. So glad to get back and find out that not only did surgery go well but he has more lung then we thought on that side :) :) What a strong boy, what a fabulous family he has to help him through all of this!! Continued thoughts and prayers to you all...give sweet Sam my love xo xo xo Barb N

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  10. beautiful pictures !!! Soooo thankful to have these posts and to hear of little Samuel's progressions! He is amazing! And so are YOU ! Big love to Chris and the boys too... hope you'll be having those long cuddles soon... xoxoxox j.

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  11. Dear Corinne: Your blog, like many you have written, brought forth more tears. Tears of such great relief that you were able to hold Samuel, bathe him, and meet his eyes. Gosh, what a tender, sweet moment.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMUEL.

    He is determined to win this battle and the support surrounding him is remarkable. Gosh, so many people are tuned to you and your extended family Corinne. Feel our love and care. It is there - we are holding you in our own unique ways.

    In deep prayer for all,
    Dawn
    P.S. Adore the pictures of you, Chris, and your lovely boys of Zachary and Daniel. Your boys bring such love into the world.

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  12. We are so thrilled to see how our little cousin is doing. We love all the photo's of Samuel. Quin and I love to see how he has grown and changed each posting. You all are never far from our thoughts!

    Love the cousins (Kolese, Ken, Quin and Hayden)

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