Surgery: two more sleeps

Samuel was at the hospital today to meet with his team. It was all good news... despite having his guts creeping up into his chest through a hole in his diaphragm, he's had a decent weight gain this month and he is eating and playing and growing. His lungs sound clear and his heart strong. The pediatrician pointed out that no one wants their baby to need such a big surgery but that Sam is in peak condition to get through this.

He's doing so well that there is this little part of me that wishes I'd ignored my spidey senses and not gotten that chest x-ray. If I'd just chalked it up to constipation and teething, I wouldn't be staring down this surgery and a few weeks back in hospital. But that's just fear talking because I know he would have kept getting sicker and needed the surgery eventually. His food intake has declined and his constipation and reflux have worsened. He wakes up many times a night now with the belly rumbling and cramping of his digestive system working extra hard. The rational part of me knows that it's good news to be heading into surgery in a planful way with a strong baby rather than waiting for an emergency.

Are you convinced that I believe this? Because I am pretty sure that my out loud voice on this one would sound small and maybe a little whiny.

We'll be heading into hospital bright and early Thursday morning for surgery. In the middle of the day, Chris and I will be participating in the hospital's Radiothon fundraiser (http://www.childrenshospital.ab.ca/), sharing our story in live interviews with a couple of local radio stations. It's a good way to give back to this amazing place that has become our second home... and I figured I could use a distraction that day.

Of course, I have made this into more than a distraction, getting myself so nervous that I felt like throwing up at the mere mention of it and sending neurotic "I can't do this" emails to Trish the incredibly patient radiothon organizer person. I finally realized that I was just displacing my anxiety. Really, as if 15 minutes of being on the radio is the scariest thing happening on Thursday!

So now I am going to bed because I think it only counts as a "sleep" if you actually sleep. To end off, here are a couple of photos of my littlest guy, which might be the cutest photos ever. But don't be fooled because Sam is at least as tough as he is cute. Maybe even tougher.

Sam being serenaded by Daddy. The adorability quotient on this photo is just super-duper high.

I know, eh?! Yum. A. Licious.