Tooth

Samuel cut his first tooth this week. Despite the fact that he is my fourth baby and I have been through lots and lots of new teeth, this is really special to me. I can't help but put my finger in there several times a day to feel the ridges of that little tooth poking through his bottom gum. It feels like the first really tangible marker of his normal baby-ness.

Samuel's "baby's first year" calendar includes stickers for the normal baby milestones. First bath... he couldn't tolerate touch for the first few weeks and couldn't have a real bath for a couple of months because of all his lines. Had a haircut... he had several in the NICU when they shaved random patches on his head for scalp IVs. Slept through the night... an IV drip of Fentanyl and Medazalam will do that for a baby. Visited the doctor... well, that one just kind of makes me laugh.

Sam's milestones are different. He opened his eyes for the first time when he was seven days old. He came off the oscillating ventilator when he was ten days old. He battled his first bout of pneumonia when he was eighteen days old (and his second bout a month later). He had surgery to reposition his guts and build a diaphragm when he was twenty-five days old. He wore a sleeper for the first time when he was thirty-nine days old.  We first heard his cry and saw his whole mouth when he was extubated at sixty-three days old. He felt the outside air and moved from the PICU when he was ninety-one days old. He took food by mouth for the first time when he was ninety-four days old. He came home to us when he was one hundred and forty-eight days old.

There are no stickers for "breathed on his own" and "cuddled with mum" because those things are assumed to happen right off. There are no stickers for "got a life-threatening blood clot" and "came off Methadone" because those things aren't supposed to happen at all. Sam had a different story. We made it up as we went along.

I bought Sam his calendar on March 11, the day that Dr. Ross said to me, "now that we no longer think he is going to die...." It is the same "baby's first year" calendar that I had for the other boys but, until that day, I couldn't bring myself to buy one for Sam because I didn't think he would get a first year. The "first tooth" sticker is the first of the really normal baby milestones in his calendar. There are more to come as he crawls and walks and says ma-ma. But for now, I am loving that little tooth in there.