Hooray for poop!

It's taken me a little while to update on how the latest ride on the worry train turned out. A few days after our ER visit, things were still the same. Sam would spend an hour and a half crying inconsolably and then would be fine and then would spike a low-grade fever and retch and then would be fine. On and on. It just wasn't ringing like a GI virus to me. 

When Sam's diaphragm reherniated in the past, he had similar GI symptoms and no respiratory symptoms. I didn't think he'd reherniated this time; that would just be super hard for him to do now that he has a lattisimus dorsi flap repair. But I wondered about other ways he could get a blocked or kinked bowel, possibly a malrotation or adhesion arising from his wonky anatomy and three abdominal surgeries.

I called our people at the CDH clinic and, after much talking and assessing and pondering, Sam went for a chest and abdominal xray. The xray showed that his lungs are awesome. Just awesome. It also showed that Sam had impacted stool in various parts of his colon, including pressing up against his diaphragm. Mystery solved. 

My first response was to feel really upset that I had let Sam's chronic, low-level constipation reach a point where he was in distress. My 'Failure-Mommy' monologue is always at the ready. I started reminding myself that we caught it early and it was fixable without surgery or invasive measures. This was what we were meant to attend to and it wasn't so bad. 

My momentary relief was interrupted by this giddy, adolescent self who started whispering jokes about how Sam was just "full of crap." This was entirely inappropriate, I know. I was listening and nodding while the lovely CDH doctors were talking about the treatment plan. Meanwhile, this immature self was imagining the doctors taking a family history where I had to list family members who were also full of crap and where I gave examples of their full of crapness.

At one point, I buried my face in Sam's neck to smooch him but I was really trying to smother an inappropriate giggle. Wow, will the bizarre coping strategies never end?! I am not sure that I have fallen into uncontrollable crap-related humour before. Oh wait. Yea, I probably have. 

So we are on a new plan and most days it is working and he poops and then eats like a lion. Other days are still rough but but my mama's intuition has settled right down, satisfied that this is what we were meant to attend to. 

This has all made me consider how valuable it is to have doctors who really get CDH. Sam has no oxygen and no g-tube so he looks like he's doing just fine and his long-standing impact from CDH is more digestive than respiratory. I think it is easy for non-CDH folks to see a pretty normal kid and miss the big picture. I am truly grateful for our hospital having a special CDH clinic of people who understand Sam - and who are willing to listen to his mama when she says something is not quite right.