ELEVEN MONTHS OLD!

Samuel turned 11 months old on New Year's Day. We welcomed in 2012 with good friends on New Year's Eve and continued our deep commitment to holiday laziness for our first day of the new year. I have got to say that 2010 and 2011 have been, well, more than a little bit rough. It feels like we are now on the brink of something a little more "normal" (whatever that means). And I have a few really important lessons under my belt to help me face whatever bumps in the road are coming our way. Most of all, I have gained a deep knowing that I can survive some pretty intense stuff and that my family can emerge strong and whole.

The big milestone was saying good-bye to Sam's home oxygen equipment. He had another oximetry on January 3 to double-check his overnight saturations. His mean saturation was 96 and he spent 98% of the night satting over 93. Sorry for those who don't know what all this means but my fellow CDH folks know... and it's good. Really, really good. Basically, Samuel's results are what any healthy person with normal lungs would be expected to do overnight. {insert moment of awed and grateful silence}

So I gathered up our various portable O2 tanks and our big emergency tank and the oxygen converter and some odds and ends. A really nice man from the respiratory home care company came and took it away. We haven't used the oxygen in a month but everyone was a little too suspicious to let it go. I did have a moment of thinking "what if he gets the flu *tomorrow*?!" but I know we will cross that bridge if/when we come to it.

Sam has taken off in the eating department. It's as though he just "got it" and now is eating pretty much anything. His almost non-existant reflux started to act up so I took the dairy out of his diet and it settled down again. I got a little carried away with all the good stuff I could use to fatten him up, but I have to remember that his GI system is still a bit more fragile than most.

Hey Mum. Betcha can't find where I be keeping my little green bowl of sweet potaters.

I could have sworn that the jar said "turkey with vegetables" but this look clearly says "tequila with lime." Oh well, both options are equally festive.

We are still quite home-bound as I try to honour Samuel's need for proper eating and sleeping time. Like any baby, he needs to eat and sleep to grow and get strong AND to not get sick; his needs in this regard are just bigger than other babies as he works to catch up developmentally. Plus, getting out of the house with 4 kids is just a lot of work. So I hope that our big boys didn't mind us having a pretty quiet Christmas. Wait, did I say "quiet?!" Wow. Okay, there is nothing quiet about our house. But it was a low-key holiday. The weather has been so mild that sledding and skating were out and trampolining was in. We even had a fire in the backyard one night and made smores.

The cold temps and fluffy snow of a few weeks ago are gone. We now have warm days (by "December in Canada" standards) as evidenced by the headless snowman and coatless children.

I did take the boys - all four of them, by myself, thank you very much - to the new Calgary Science Centre for an afternoon. The displays were awesome but there were these signs that I am pretty sure said things like, "rub your hand here to see a cool thermodynamic reaction!" but to me clearly read, "rub your hand here where 17 bazillion other people with plague-like symptoms also rubbed their hands after sneezing and picking their noses so that there is no way in heck you're getting out of here without some hideous illness!" So I got to be that really cool mom saying things like, "Yes, isn't that neat?! Just be sure you don't touch your face until I can find my sanitizer gel!" I'm pretty sure it would not scar them socially if I made them wear haz-mat suits next time.

Tonight I said good-bye to my parents as they are heading off to Arizona for three months. I might have cried a little. But I didn't throw myself on the ground and grab their ankles and have a tantrum and beg them not to go. And I didn't even pay one of my kids ten bucks to enact this scene on my behalf. So that's good, right?! We'll be okay.

Tomorrow, my big boys go back to school. Even though they are loud and chaotic and they fight and scream and wake up the baby and distract him when he's eating and drive me mental, they also play and cuddle and say sweet things and make me laugh so so so much. And they do actually play really well with Samuel and have enough empathy to respond when I remind them that they are each three times his size and like mini-tornadoes. So I will miss them during the day.

Daniel engineers a new play system for Samuel.

I will also miss their dad, who has been good to have around because it means I am not so outnumbered by the little people. Heh heh. Not very romantic, eh?! Okay, he's been good to have around because he loves us all really well and is a fabulous cook and is my partner and my prince charming. I might adore him a little. But don't tell him I said so because it will discredit me when I need to complain about the scuzzy dishrag balled up in the sink. Shhh.

Cute much?

Even cuter much?!